Bijuu and You
by KH freak 813
Summary: One-shot gifted to Jazz. Have you ever had a day ruined by a Bijuu? How about nine of them? How will Sasuke and Naruto POSSIBLY get over this dilemma? Canonverse. AU. SasuNaru. Shounen-ai.


Hello readers! I would like to thank **Jazz** for reviewing the finale of Love Will Never Die in addition to **Heart Prisoner**, **Vampirefreak4eterity** plus **HikariTatami** for favoriting it! Thank you very much! I really appreciate it!

Congratulations to **Jazz** for guessing the trivia correctly in the last chapter of Not As Simple As It Sounds! This one-shot is dedicated to her!

If you like this, feel free to read the other stories on my profile! ^_^

I'm glad Winter Break _FINALLY_ arrived too,** Jazz**! No problem! :3

I have a few questions for you on behalf of your request. First, who do you want the other siblings to be since Naruto doesn't have any? Are they OCs or is it only Itachi? If it's the former, could you tell me their names and personality traits? Also, I _WILL NOT_ make this a yaoi, just shounen-ai—they are _DIFFERENT_ by the way—but it will _ONLY_ be SasuNaru since that was a part of my restrictions. However, this will be mostly friendship like you asked. I'll be sure to have this take place in a modern AU and make this a crossover of what you wanted—except for Final Fantasy since I'm not familiar with it _AT ALL_. Lastly, what do you want to title to be? Do you want me to make it up or do you have an idea for one?

I'll honor your request _UNLESS_ you meant that there will be_ NO_ boyxboy; in that case, I'll have to reject it since I want _BOTH_ to be boys and _ONLY_ for them to be boys! I don't want one of them to have to be a girl since that would mean their relationship _WOULDN'T_ be valid unless it was boyxgirl so tell me, is it okay if your story has shounen-ai in it?

Since this story will be _THIRTY-TWO_ chapters long—from December 1st to January 1st—I would like to have _A LOT_ of freedom in what I'm going to write for _MULTIPLE_ reasons; first, I'm _STILL_ in school which is _KILLING_ me therefore I can _ONLY _update on my _OWN_ time. Second, I am _EXTREMELY_ uncomfortable if the requester gives me _A WHOLE LIST_ for me to write _INSTEAD_ of leaving it to the writer's—_MY_—imagination. Third, I _STILL_ need to update Shinobi no Pokémon so it's not as if I have _NOTHING ELSE_ to do. That's all.

Also, I'll start writing your story _ONLY AFTER_ I finish the three one-shots. I hope you can wait until then! ;)

By the way, what did you think of the final chapter of Love Will Never Die? Was it sad? I would _LOVE_ to know! Also, what do you think of this one-shot? Your feedback would make the _PERFECT_ Christmas present _ESPECIALLY_ since that final chapter took _FOREVER_ to complete and is _OVER 5K _nor was _THIS_ easy to write so_ PLEASE_ tell me! (**:**

Disclaimer: I do not own any aspect of Naruto. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I only own this and every other story I have.

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><p>"Dobe."<p>

"Teme?"

"What's going on over here?"

"HUH?! WHAT THE?!"

_"Shut up gaki; I'm TRYING to sleep!"_

_"That's what you ALWAYS do, baka kitsune."_

"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!"

The couple was lying under the shade of a giant tree, simply relaxing as a gentle breeze passed by just as this...phenomon occurred.

"Have the Bijuu _always_ looked like this?" Sasuke quirked a brow. "If I remember correctly, they are supposed to be much larger and a little less...super deformed."

_"We're CHIBI NOT 'SUPER DEFORMED' you brat!"_

The nine beasts surrounded the two, bearing features that were smaller and more stubby as well as being way shorter than usual; they were only about as tall as a tree each.

"They basically mean the same thing." The raven scoffed.

The fox growled. _"Why you—"_

"Do you mind?!" Naruto snapped. "We're _relaxing_ right now!"

_"You mean out on a date?" _The slug teased.

The Uchiha glared. "Keep your mouth shut, Rokubi."

"It's Saiken, you know!" The blond corrected.

The sable shrugged. "Whatever you say."

_"So you are?" _The turtle prodded.

"So what, Sanbi?" The onyx retorted. "This isn't _any_ of your business."

"Isobu." The flaxen piped.

The other rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

_"Don't talk like that to us!" _The monkey chastised._ "We kemono are FAR superior to you humans!"_

"Like I care, Yonbi?" The addressed crossed his arms.

The Jinchūriki rubbed his temples. "It's Son Gokū teme! Do I have to keep correcting you?!"

"Hn."

"Humph." The boy pouted.

_"Aww look, we're RUINING their outing!"_ The raccoon snickered before bursting into laughter.

_"Aren't you amiable?" _The vulpine sneered. _"And here I thought_ I _was cruel."_

_"You're BOTH obnoxious!"_ The bull declared._ "Always fighting!"_

The enemies glowered. _"Why you—"_

_"Settle down you three!" _The cat interjected._ "This is NO time to be having an argument!"_

_"They aren't lucky right now." _The insect mulled.

The horse snorted. _"You can say that again."_

"Ichibi, Kyuubi, Hachibi, Nibi, Nanabi, Gobi..." Sasuke glared. "Shut up already."

"Oh—" Naruto shook his head furiously. "Why do I keep on trying?!"

"As if I need to know something this trivial." The inquired answered as if it were obvious.

The nonet leered fiercely. _"WHAT?! THE NERVE HE HAS!"_

"Calm down! Calm down!" The blond held his hands up in a placating manner. "I'm sure he doesn't mean tha—"

"Sure I do." The obsidian drawled, earning a procession of threatening growls. "After all, it's not as if they're necessary; it doesn't matter if I reference them by their number of tails or not."

"Or is it that you're afraid that you'll forget?" The tawny accused, pointing a finger.

The stoic remained impassive. "And what if it's true?"

"Hehe, I don't blame you." The sheepish rubbing of his neck caught the questioner off-guard. "I have a hard time remember myself."

_"Don't we know that." _The ape scoffed.

"That's why I made a song for them." The cherub continued, pretending to be deaf to that not-so-kind remark. "Do you want to hear it?"

"I just said that I don't care." The responder reprimanded. "What makes you think I would like to hear a song about them?"

"What about the Jinchūriki?!" The flaxen pressed, refusing to relent.

"Not interested. It's not as if I'll ever interact with them anyways." The raven dismissed.

"I'M A JINCHŪRIKI!" The Uzumaki boomed, taking his partner aback. "DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT _ME_?!" The Uchiha froze at the realization, nearly flinching at the error in what he had just said.

_"Just listen to him."_ The fox sighed. _"It won't hurt and besides, he's better than you think he probably is."_

"Oh fine." The sable at last conceded. "What's it called?"

The boy beamed. "Bijuu Kazoe Uta!"

"Really?" One could _swear_ a drop of sweat was forming on the avenger's brow. "Where was your brain when you named it?"

"SHUT UP!" The blush that blazed across the flustered's face only served to demean the command, however. "I CREATED IT TO HELP ME _REMEMBER_, NOT TO BE CREATIVE! NOW DO YOU WANT TO HEAR IT OR NOT?!"

"Hn." The offender grunted.

"Good!" The teen's demeanor underwent an instant change. "Cue stage!" The onyx looked on in wonder as a set of percussions magically appeared. The leader then made a seal, gathering a bit of chakra. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Several shadow clones were created, each manning an instrument. "Cue shō!" An oriental tune which was released from what seemed to be a pipe of sorts sounded throughout the area.

"How did he do that?" Sasuke gazed in wonder at his surroundings, ultimately glancing skeptically at the nine.

_"Don't ask us."_ The kitsune shrugged. _"We don't know either."_

A throat was cleared, redirecting their attention to the center of focus. The original began striking on the bass, setting up a steady beat. "Bijuu kazoe uta, hajimari, hajimari!" The performer took a deep breath before...

"Hitotsu, hito yori ii nemuri Shukaku!

Futatsu, faia moeteru Matatabi!

Mitsu, mizunara makoseru Isobu!

Yotsu, yōgan atsui ze Son Gokū!

Itsutsu, itsudemo kakeashi Kokuō!

Muttsu, muri sezu awatezo Saiken!

Nanatsu, nanafushi soratobu Chōmei!

Yatsu, yappai "wī" da ze Gyūki!

Kokonotsu, "ko-kon" to saikyō Kurama!

Dōdō sorotta bijuu no nakama

Choi muzu da kedo ii namae!

Mina rippana namae danee!

Mina sutekina namae danee!"

The stoic was entranced by the smooth melody slipping from the male's lips. He watched as the replicas began pounding on their drums, adding to the rhythm. "Otsugi wa Jinchūriki! Ikuttebayo!" It commenced once more...

"Hitosu, hidoi kuma da yo Gaara!

Futatsu, funyan to neko nade Yugito!

Mittsu, Mizukage Yondaime no Yagura!

Yotsu, yonjū nen yonbi to Rōshi!

Itsutsu, ikatsui pawa no Han!

Muttsu, mukuchina kira ga shi Utakata!

Nanatsu, nadomosu kunoichi Fū!

Yatsu, yabai yo rappu no Kirābī!

Kokonotsu, Konoha no Uzumaki Naruto!

Totemo tsuyoi jinchūriki no mi-una!

Bijuu to nakayoku nareru ka na?

Mina rippana shinobi danee!

Mina zutekino shinobi danee!"

The tune and percussions mysteriously vanished as Naruto knelt beside his boyfriend, grinning. "How was it?"

Sasuke gave a small smile. "It was nice. You have a great voice."

"T-Thanks." The blond flushed at that, earning him a chuckle. He suddenly became serious. "Do you now know everyone's name?"

"Yeah yeah." The sable huffed. "Shukaku, Matatabi, Isobu, Son Gokū, Kokuō, Saiken, Chōmei, Gyūki, Kurama...am I right?"

"Yeah!" The tawny beamed, tackling his lover to the ground and wrapping his arms tightly around the other. "About time!"

"Heh. I actually knew them the whole time. What do you take me as?" The deceiver gave an arrogant smirk. "I was just messing with you."

_"WHAT?!"_ The beasts exclaimed, enraged.

The flaxen seethed. "SO I SANG THAT SONG FOR _NO REASON_ AT ALL?!"

"Noisy as always." The accused winced before hugging the upset, kissing him on the lips. "You were great."

He calmed down. "Thanks teme."

_"We're STILL angry at you for pretending to not know our names!"_ Ichibi barked out.

_"How expected."_ Kyuubi snickered._ "OF COURSE you would be the angriest since you're the feeblest of us all!"_

_"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"_ Shukaku shrilled. _"FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I AM WAY BETTER THAN YOU! DO YOU KNOW THE SAYING 'THE FOX HAS SEVEN DISGUISES, THE TANUKI HAS EIGHT'?! THAT MEANS I'M ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU!"_

_"SAYS THE ONE-TAIL!" _The vulpine adamantly retorted. _"DON'T FORGET THAT I HAVE NINE SO THAT MEANS I'M THE STRONGEST AND YOU'RE THE WEAKEST!"_

_"Enough with your superiority complex!" _Nibi interjected, hissing at Kurama. _"We have had ENOUGH of that! Number of tails DOES NOT equal the amount of strength!"_

_"Here we go again." _Hachibi groaned in frustration. _"There's ABSOLUTELY no point in mediating; after all, they'll simply ignore us all!"_

Gobi nodded in agreement. _"You can say that again."_

_"HOW DARE YOU, YOU WEAKLING!" _The most bellowed. _"YOU'LL PAY FOR INSULTING ME!"_

_"OH YEAH, AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!" _The raccoon taunted.

_"Please calm down!" _Sanbi intervened only to have both deliver vicious glares, causing him to curl up in fear.

_"This is nice." _Yonbi muttered, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

_"Those two should just take it easy!"_ Rokubi piped._ "Aruging and making threats causes a lot of trouble."_

_"I'm SO unlucky to be here." _Nanabi grumbled.

"SHUT UP!" Naruto screamed at the top of his lungs, fury literally igniting the air around him. "YOU NINE CONTINUE TO DISTURB OUR PEACE AND I'LL SEAL YOU ALL INTO THE DEEPEST CORNER OF MY MIND AND MAKE SURE YOU'LL _NEVER_ SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY _EVER AGAIN_, GOT IT?!"

_"SEAL?!"_ That shut them all up.

"That was kind." The Uchiha snickered. "Who knew you had it in you?"

"It's not everyday we have time to spend together, what with us working _so_ many missions as jōnin plus me training to become Hokage." The Uzumaki shrugged as he leaned into his lover. "I just want to make the most of it."

"Is that so?" The raven gripped the blond's chin, causing their eyes to meet. The fire smoldering within their depths only intensified as they found the answering heat in the other. "Aishiteru."

"Aishiteru mata." The pair then proceeded to crash their lips together, breaths mingling as their hands started to explore each other's bodies. Moans began to fill the space as their session drew on.

The Bijuu—save for Matatabi—shared a collective look of disgust at what was occurring before them.

_"GROSS!"_

_"GO AT IT!"_

_"NOO!"_

_"THIS IS TOO FAR!"_

_"REALLY?!"_

_"EWW!"_

_"UGH!"_

_"OH COME ON!"_

_"YUCK!"_

The octect scrambled to flee the place only to find that they couldn't move past a certain area, bound to their Jinchūriki.

_"Why not just enjoy this?"_ The female offered, staring at the couple. _"Watching those two is HOT!" _The addressed were astonished by the uncharacteristic display from their counterpart, even more frenzied to escape now.

_"LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"_

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><p><span>Jutsu<span>: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)

Translation: kemono=beast, Ichibi=One-Tail, Nibi=Two-Tails, Sanbi=Three-Tails, Yonbi=Four-Tails, Gobi=Five-Tails, Rokubi=Six-Tails, Nanabi=Seven-Tails, Hachibi=Eight-Tails, Kyuubi=Nine-Tails, Bijuu Kazoe Uta=Tailed Beasts Counting Song, jōnin=high ninja, Aishiteru=I love you, mata=also

P.S: The reason that I left the song in rōmaji is because it was only sung in the Japanese version thus far, hence this being what you would hear. Please don't criticize me on this; if you know me, then you would remember that I prefer Japanese phonics to English. If you _really_ want the translation, please look it up or watch the video itself._ PLEASE _do. By the way, I obviously don't own it.

FYI: 'Super Deformed' is the official Japanese term for 'Chibi' in terms of the drawing style. Just saying.

How was it, **Jazz**? If there's anything you're dissatisfied with, just let me know. If it is _manageable_ and not _too_ drastic, then I'll change it to how you see fit but don't be too hard on me if I did something wrong! (**:**

**Please review! I really appreciate them and they motivate me to write more!**


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